Day One of Conference

I want to write out of few thoughts from the first day of the Smart Marriage conference mostly by sharing some quotes from a few of the speakers.

Gary Chapman's keynote: No one has ever died from breaking off an affair. Some have died from continuing them. No one ever regrets doing what's right.

His new book comes out July 15 entitled: Love as a Way of Life (doesn't that sound like something Jesus would just love?)
Does love stand a chance in this country? Love is our only chance!

2 essentials to a positive long-term relationship:
1. both partners feeling loved and appreciated
2. both knowing how to deal effectively with their own failures

From his class on The Five Languages of Apology:
Life's true meaning is found in relationships, also life's deepest pain.

Why do some people choose not to apologize:
fear the consequences of admitting the offense
don't value the relationship
have personality or esteem issues

On teaching children to apologize:
*teach them to take responsibility
*help them understand that their actions affect other people
*life has rules
*apologies are necessary when we hurt others
*teach them the five languages of apology
*teach them by your example

Dave Carder's class: An affair contains the following three components--
1. childhood magic - totally free of responsibility
2. Adolescent sexuality - exciting, spontaneous (like in a car - ha!)
3. adult mobility - business trips, choose to see each other in time that are not "regular" or easy
Healthy marriages-work involves maintaining all three.

John Van Epp's keynote: Years ago, research revealed that teenage marriages had a high rate of instability so the marriage age began to be pushed way up. For a period of time the slogan taught was 'marry later, marry better'. What we now know is that when the marriage age is anywhere from 21-30, higher stability is more likely to occur. But some people who wait until later to marry are more likely to be sexually permissive, have higher rates of substance abuse, have higher rates of cohabitation, and show higher acceptance of out-of-marriage births.

It has been a good day at the conference. Rick and I are about to leave to go to a banquet - always a highlight at the conference.