Day Three of Conference

We are resting a bit before we go to hear John Gray (When Mars and Venus Collide) from 7:30-10:00 - but I want to recap this day before we go. We ate supper at an Irish Pub - the first time I can ever remembering ordering lamb. It was good but... oh, let me recap the info of the day - not the food.

First thing this morning, the plenary speaker was Dr. Sue Johnson. I will spend all day with her tomorrow. I am so excited for the opportunity because she was amazing today! She is the author of Emotional-Focused Therapy.
Some of her quotes:
"How to understand the great emotional bond and the great source of pain (love) is the greatest treasure hunt of mankind."

Isolation is more dangerous physically than smoking.
Your brain codes emotional isolation as danger.
You become emotionally 'stuck' when the person you go to for safe attachment creates isolation.

The code of attachment tells us that the primary need is to feel secure with another.

All arguments are about the power of emotional connection:
*Are you there for me?
*Are you accessible for me?
*Are you responsive to my needs?
*Are you engaged with me?
Emotional presence is solution.

Criticism by someone you love creates relapse in any 'issue' - ex. depression.

(more from her tomorrow - I can't wait!)


Dr. David Carder - on Close Calls: How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage

The power of a temptation lies in its timing.

High risk times for affair:
Following a loss
In a life transition
During pregnancy or within 18 following birth (he has done extensive research on pastors and this has proven to be their most vulnerable time)

Most pastors who have affairs do so between ages 31 and 40 (43.9%).
Over 70% of pastors having affairs do so before the age of 40, with a huge % of those never reported to their 'people'.

The following list include the characteristics for alcoholics to relapse and they also lower barriers for affair prevention. When we are:
hungry
angry
lonely
tired
bored

Father God, please teach us how self-care so that our hearts do not become the devil's playground. Fill us, as Your people, with wisdom and discernment to eat and rest well. Guard our minds that anger does not settle in. Help us to use every opportunity to practice forgiveness so bitterness does not take up room in our hearts. Fill us with Your presence and Your passion so that we do not let loneliness and boredom become fertilizer for the Evil One. We desperately want to bring You glory and honor in the way we do marriage.