Mon Night Group and Thoughts on Attachment

I love our Monday night study group. We have several women from the community meeting for two hours to work through Kelly Simpson's Active Healthy Relationships program. The camaraderie is delightful and the discussion is rich! I have such a passion to give young women a forum to be intentional about living the lives that will get them what they want more than anything. These women are amazing and am thrilled to share time with them!
I am working through Sue Johnson's book: Hold Me Tight. She says that what we all want than anything is secure, safe relationships. Our hearts long for authentic attachment to another. I so believe her! This book is fabulous - and so challenging.
Due to the move in our culture toward independence, we have become more self-focused than relationship-focused and it is not serving us well. I witness the sadness of way too many because of a disconnect from others. We suffer from the ongoing wounding of our childhood - a childhood that maybe taught us that people are not safe; that people cannot be trusted to love well; that we will be hurt by loving/caring about another; that we hurt others that we want to love.
My question would be: how on earth do we enter into 'safe, secure' relationships without the indwelling of the Holy Spirit or the covering of the blood of Jesus or the warmth of the mercy/grace of God. I am fully aware that outside of Kingdom of God people can have good, successful marriages but they are missing the penetrating purpose. There is sweetness found in new mercies every morning that propels a freshness like none other!
Just wanted to share a few thoughts stirring in my head before I hit the road for Houston, Spring really. Josh (our son who recently moved to Memphis) is coming to speak at Jonathan's (our son in Houston) church tonight. Jenny and Malaya will drive up too. I will stay until Sunday loving on Jed and Jocelyn! But for tonight, I will have 3 grand ones under one roof (wish Truitt could be there!). I can't wait!